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A Tribute to chuck Norris

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These chuck Norris "Facts" have been spread via email, discussion forums and an individual web sites. If you have actually one come contribute, submit it before you obtain a round home kick to the face and also cease come exist.

Chuck Norris" girlfriend when asked him just how much timber a woodchuck might chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood. He climate shouted, "HOW dare YOU luck IN THE existence OF lining NORRIS!" and also ripped out her throat. Hold his girlfriend"s bloody throat in his hand that bellowed, "Don"t **** v Chuck!" 2 years and five months later on he establish the irony the this statement and also laughed so hard that anyone within a hundred mile radius the the blast walk deaf.Chuck Norris marketed his soul to the evil one for his rugged good looks and also unparalleled martial art ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, lining roundhouse kicked the evil one in the face and took his spirit back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn"t remain mad and admitted that should have actually seen that coming. They currently play poker every 2nd Wednesday of the month.A male once asked chuck Norris if his actual name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did no respond, he merely stared at him until he exploded.Chuck Norris does not sleep. The waits.The chef export of chuck Norris is pain.Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and also Order are trademarked names because that his left and also right legs.If you can see lining Norris, he have the right to see you. If friend can"t check out Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.When chuck Norris sends out in his taxes, that sends blank forms and also includes only a snapshot of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has actually not had to salary taxes ever.Filming on ar for Walker: Texas Ranger, lining Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb ago to life by providing it a lengthy beard rub. Soon after the farm pet sprang earlier to life and also a crowd had actually gathered, chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that lining giveth, and the good Chuck, that taketh away.Chuck Norris doesn"t check out books. The stares castle down until he gets the information he wants.The grass is always greener ~ above the various other side, unless Chuck Norris has actually been there. In that case the grass is most most likely soaked in blood and also tears.There is no chin behind lining Norris" beard. Over there is only another fist.Chuck Norris likes come knit sweaters in his complimentary time. And by "knit", Imean "kick", and also by "sweaters", I average "babies".The quickest means to a man"s love is v Chuck Norris"s fist.Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video clip game, however was gotten rid of by Beta Testers due to the fact that every switch caused the to perform a roundhouse kick. Once asked bout this "glitch," Norrisreplied, "That"s no glitch."


Chuck Norris ate a Rubik’s cube and also pooped it the end solved.

Those aren"t credits that roll after walker Texas Ranger, the is in reality a perform of people that lining Norris round house kicked in the confront that day.Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word searching infers the probability of failure. Lining Norris go killing.A blind male once stepped on lining Norris" shoe. Chuck replied, "Don"t you understand who i am? I"m lining Norris!" The mere point out of his name cured this man blindness. I m so sad the first, last, and only thing this man ever before saw, was a deadly roundhouse ceded by chuck NorrisChuck Norris is no hung prefer a horse... Horses are hung favor Chuck NorrisChuck Norris sleeps through a night light. Not since Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, however the dark is fear of lining NorrisChuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to execute with ancestry, the guy ate an Indian.Chuck Norris frequently donates blood come the Red Cross. Simply never his own.According come Einstein"s theory of relativity, chuck Norris have the right to actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.Chuck Norris likewise Played The Black guy in walker Texas RangerChuck Norris is What Willis was Talking about

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off throughout the large Bang is approximately equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)How lot wood would certainly a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck can Chuck Norris? ...All the it. When you"re lining Norris, noþeles + anything is same to 1. One roundhouse absent to the face. Lining Norris bespeak a large Mac in ~ Burger King, and also got one.Little recognized medical fact: chuck Norris developed the Caesarean section once he roundhouse-kicked his method out that his mom womb. Chuck Norris when ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made the blink.Chuck Norris play Russian Roulette through a fully loaded gun and also won. Lining Norris once bet NASA he might survive re-entry without a spacesuit. ~ above July 19th, 1999, a naked lining Norris re-entered the earth"s atmosphere, streaking end 14 states and reaching a temperature the 3000 degrees. One embarrassed NASA publicly claimed it to be a meteor, and also still owes him a beer.Chuck Norris deserve to slam a revolving door.Helen Keller"s favorite color is lining Norris.

Chuck Norris does no "style" his hair. It lays perfectly in ar out of slim terror.Ninjas desire to flourish up come be as with Chuck Norris. However usually they flourish up simply to be killed by chuck Norris.Some civilization ask because that a Kleenex as soon as they sneeze, chuck Norris asks because that a body bag.When lining Norris goes to out to eat, the orders a totality chicken, yet he just eats that soul.Chuck Norris has actually never won an Academy Award because that acting... Due to the fact that he"s no acting.Sticks and stones might break your bones, however a chuck Norris" glare will certainly liquefy her kidneys.Chuck Norris might kill himself and live.If file beats rock, rock beats scissors, and also scissors win paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Answer: chuck Norris.When asked cash or credit, chuck Norris replies with a roundhouse kick to the face and also walks the end of the store.Chuck Norris paints his walls by throwing world at them.Chuck Norris" chest hair has chest hair.There is no such point as tornados. Lining Norris just hates trailer parks.Once a grizzly bear endangered to eat chuck Norris. Chuck showed the be afflicted with his fist and also the be afflicted with proceeded to eat himself, because it would be the much less painful way to die.Chuck Norris kills 14 white people at the end of every week just to prove he isn’t racist.

The "Fantastic Four" is a nick name for lining Norris and also his package.

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Chuck Norris once met a guy who cried due to the fact that he had actually no pair of shoes after which that ripped the man"s feet off and said, "Bare feet don"t sound so poor now perform they?"

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