Did you already hook up but now he is acting distant? Have you been chatting for a while and then out of nowhere he started to pull away?

Maybe it hasn’t gotten that far yet and it just seems like he runs every time you see him (even though you sense that he’s into you) or perhaps he’s suddenly stopped replying to your messages.

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The irony is that going silent and truly ignoring someone is always essentially about sending them some kind of message, albeit in a passive way.

Working out what that exact message is will depend on your individual circumstances. Here are the 13 biggest reasons why guys will ignore someone they like.

1) He’s not actually ignoring you

The first explanation that we need to eliminate from the list before going any further is checking that he really is ignoring you in the first place?

Understanding what on earth is going on in someone else’s head feels like a big guessing game at the best of times. When romance comes into the picture, it’s ten times as challenging.

Most of the time in life we all just go around projecting what is in our own mind onto somebody else.

Are you certain that he is giving you the cold shoulder or is there a chance you may be being a bit paranoid?

It makes total sense that in matters of the heart we feel a lot more sensitive. But that hyper-alertness means we’re also prone to a bit of melodrama from time to time too.

If it’s been 2 weeks — you’ve called twice, sent 3 messages, and still heard nothing from him— ok, yes — it looks like he’s ghosted you. But on the other hand, if you waved at him in the parking lot earlier today and he didn’t wave back, the chances are far more likely that he just didn’t see you.

Before you read too much into things, make sure you’re not looking for problems that aren’t even there.

2) He doesn’t want a relationship


Why would a guy purposely ignore you after he has already admitted that he likes you or after you’ve had a few dates? It might depend on what he is looking for.

Liking someone doesn’t mean that you necessarily want to take things any further or that you’re ready for a relationship.

If he’s not in a place in his life where he wants to develop something serious, he might find it an easier solution to back off before it gets to that stage.

Perhaps he is worried that if things continue as they are, you are going to want more from him than he is prepared to give right now.

3) He thinks you’re coming on too strong

Dating is a weird tightrope balancing act that we all try to walk.

It’s probably why so many of us spend hours dissecting with our friends what they said, what we said, and what it all could mean.

Because, like the Fairytale of Goldilocks, getting it “just right” feels like a whole lot of trial and error.

We’re told to show that we’re interested in someone, to give them signs and signals that we like them. But we’re also told not to show our hand too soon or you might scare him off.

Personally, I think it’s always good to be fairly transparent about how you feel with someone. Most men won’t feel threatened if you make it clear that you like him.

If you showing some interest means he suddenly freaks out, then the chances are he isn’t really that interested in the first place. Most sincere men won’t be scared off by that.

If you have to play games to keep his attention, you’re better off without him.

Having said that, there is a chance that sometimes our initial excitement when we start getting to know someone means that enthusiasm bubbles over into being pushy or a bit “too much” — and so he backs off or starts to ignore you as it’s all too intense.

4) He’s playing it (too) cool

Can ignoring someone be a sign of attraction? Yes, it absolutely can. But it usually depends on how much he is ignoring you.

There’s a chance that he doesn’t want to be too obvious about how he feels, but has misjudged it and now it just looks like he’s ignoring you.

You might think this sounds kind of dumb but I know that in the past when I have liked someone, I’ve been guilty of this.

I worry that how I feel is so totally obvious to everybody, so I inadvertently go too far the other way and end up ignoring the one person in the room I really want to be talking to.

I guess this one falls into the same category as that old playground tactic of teasing someone you like. What can I say, human behavior is weird sometimes.

So for this type of guy, true love is when he ignores you.

There is a line though and although it’s perfectly plausible that a guy you know likes you may not pay you as much attention as you’d expect or be as talkative — it’s pretty unlikely that he would totally ignore you.

So if that’s what he’s doing, there could be more going on than just his terrible chat up techniques.

5) He likes you, just not enough

One thing that might be happening is that you’re absolutely right and he does like you but he just doesn’t like you as much as you think he does or wants him to.

If in the beginning he came on pretty strong but that has slowly deteriorated, there’s a chance that the buzz has worn off for him.

Romance and dating can feel like a pretty fickle world at times. Sometimes it’s almost as if they loved you on Tuesday, but by Thursday they’re over it.

Especially if a guy is quite emotionally immature or emotionally unavailable, his feelings may be very quick to run from hot to cold.

There are also some men that are only ever in it for the thrill of the chase, but once they’re got your attention it’s not as exciting anymore.

6) He thinks you’re not interested and has given up

If the guy who has suddenly started ignoring you was super interested not long ago but has apparently stopped pursuing you — he could have decided to cut his losses.

There may be more social pressure on men to be the ones who go after women, but he’s got feelings too.

Rejection isn’t any easier for guys than it is for girls.

If you’ve hurt his pride or not given any signs to him that you like him, at some point — if he knows what’s good for him — he’s bound to give up.

It’s healthy self-preservation when you think about it.

If he has been consistently contacting you and you haven’t really been giving anything back or maybe even asked you out and you turned him down — it’s likely he’s decided to move on.

7) He thinks you’re being clingy

To most people being a bit clingy or needy is a turn off.

Of course, the tricky part is defining what clingy behavior actually looks like. After all, some of us genuinely want to hear from our beau 10 times a day and for others, that’s an insane amount of contact.

Because we’re all different and we all have our own expectations going into these things — one man’s clingy is another man’s affectionate — so it’s not that either person is in the wrong. It’s just about communication and finding the right balance between you.

If you think that you have been spending a lot of time together recently (no matter how great it was) or you’ve been talking a lot, consider who has been driving that.

If it’s admittedly more you than him, he could just be signalling that he wants a bit more space.

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He could like you, but he also likes his friends, family, career, and interests too and wants some more time for all the things he enjoys.